We are now officially a family of five. We have gone from the mid-sized SUV and sedan family to mini-van. In a flurry of labor (literally 4 hrs from first contraction to baby) we welcomed our newest spitfire of an adventure. Since labor went so fast this time, she was delivered in a triage room with no chance for painkillers for mommy. I suppose it’s better off that way – over and done with… on to the next thing like the awful task of post-partum recovery that nobody talks about. This time recovery went much faster and while sleep is still at a premium, I feel physically stronger and capable of doing more.
While right now I spend about 6hrs just nursing and burping, and 3 hrs changing diapers, one’s mind begins to wander and obsess over things. I find myself building mental to-do lists to the extent that I’m worn out just thinking about all the things I want to get done. I’ve been convicted to put down my to-do list and do the things that are rejeuvenating for me… like reading and writing. Hence my aspiration to get back to posting more. As much as I’d like to sit in front of the TV and veg out watching HGTV and the food network, that often leads to more “wanting” and less contentment. Let’s face it. I live in New Jersey where housing costs are astronomical. I don’t have a full master suite with a walk in closet and jacuzzi tub. I probably never will. Right now we have a mini-crib in our bedroom, with the plan of putting both girls together soon (another post to come). There are a lot of “wants” when I let myself sit and dwell on it.
Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. so if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.
1 Timothy 6:6-8
As a young parent I think I’m hyper-aware of the “firsts”. The first roll, crawl, walk, words, etc. It’s not until we’re well onto the next milestone that I realize the last phase has ended for good. Usually we’re so tired of the same thing over and over that the newness of the next thing overshadows celebrating the “lasts”.
I was nursing Miss Snuggabug last night reflecting on how liberating it is to be weaning from the pump during the day. Somehow the thought occurred to me that I don’t even remember the last time pumping or nursing when Little Bear was a baby. It seems that as I came to the end of that phase it was so routine that I never thought to cherish that last special moment of bonding with my son. Sometimes you don’t know you’re experiencing a “last” until after it’s over. Take changing diapers for example. It’s almost impossible to predict the last diaper change because one day he just “got it” and went in the potty. It is liberating, but it’s also one of the last things of the baby stage to go for good.
This mothers day I want to spend the time reflecting on these early childhood milestones; some of which may even seem annoying right now – because I’ll miss it when it’s gone.
Slow down…. please. Before I know it you’ll be going to prom and then off to college. This Nicole Nordeman song really wraps it up.
Also – my youngest cousin just graduated college today. I couldn’t be more proud of the woman she has become. The beautiful thing about a graduation is that it is a celebration of the “lasts.” It’s such a bittersweet mix of emotions; it gives permission to cherish those last hugs and drinks with friends with tears in your eyes as you’re going separate ways. There’s an excitement in embarking on a new journey of independence, but also a sadness in leaving some of the most carefree years of life behind. She is going into education – and there is the passion of a new teacher, knowing she can really make a difference in the lives of countless children.
I wish there was a sort of “graduation” from going from baby to toddler or toddler to little boy or girl. Maybe I wouldn’t be the only person out there who sheds a tear over changing diapers. It’s not the diapers – its those moments of happiness and giggling and complete dependence on mommy and daddy. Certainly we all miss the baby cuddles. And most of us probably miss those early baby toddles… as nerveracking as it can be having a wobbly little person become mobile – with no sense of safety. Those are the things that are hard to catch. Little Bear still crawls up in my lap to cuddle and read a book… but one day he won’t. I hope it’s not too soon, but one thing’s for sure – there won’t be an announcement. And I won’t know it’s the ‘last’ until it’s gone.
Trace Adkin’s couldn’t have put it better…
You’re gonna miss this You’re gonna want this back You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast These are some good times So take a good look around You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this
Miss Snuggabug just turned 6 months old… which means time for solid food! Now, before having kids I thought this would be so much fun, and dreamed of making gourmet baby food from scratch. Two kids later… that’s not so much the case. When I started solids with my first, I got extremely stressed out by the whole process. How much should he be eating? How often? What if he’s allergic?
I come from a family with a strong history of food allergies. I myself have a peanut allergy (not anaphylactic). The recommendation is to not introduce new foods in the evening in case they have a reaction. Now, allergic reactions require prior exposure for the body to develop an immunological response. Pediatricians recommend giving the same food for several days in a row before offering a new food. I waited until about 5mo (which now the recommendation is 6 mo) but then I overthought EVERYTHING. Any little diaper rash… “is that an allergy?” And of course I never introduced anything new in the evening for fear of an anaphylactic reaction in the middle of the night and dying. I was out of control.
That’s when I came across baby led weaning. The kid can feed himself? Sold. It made complete sense to me and allowed me to relax over introducing new foods. This is a method where the parent skips the spoon-fed purees and goes straight to finger foods. Dinner became a fun family event. He ate what we ate (pretty much). In the beginning I served roasted or steamed fruits and vegetables and can then moved on to just about anything. The idea is that it puts the control of what goes into his/ her mouth in the baby’s hands. See, my deep seeded fear about purees is that I was shoveling an allergen into my precious pure baby who had only had breastmilk prior. Handing over the food gave me peace, because he could choose not to put something in his mouth, or spit it out and not try again if it bothered him. Much of the early stages of eating is really just sensory learning. The baby starts with feeling with their hands and that can help them translate textures to what it will feel like in the mouth. Plus, they are learning and getting used to tons of new flavors (I could write a book on flavor/ taste learning…. oh wait, I did and it’s called my graduate thesis). Anyway, long story short(er)… Little Bear is a great eater. He loved food and still loves food. I should mention that he doesn’t have any allergies (that I’m aware of). Apples are sooo overrated
Now we are starting that same journey with Miss Snuggabug. Even though it’s the second time around, I still find myself second guessing things. She’s not that big of an eater, unlike her big brother. She doesn’t really care to bring things to her mouth and she pretty much spits out everything. Obama’s approval rating looks stellar compared to her feelings on food. That’s okay though. I have to remind myself that at this stage it’s not about the nutrients. Even if I was spoon feeding – those few tablespoons of carrots or peas really aren’t providing substantive nutrition – that’s coming from my milk. I’m slowly grasping that a lot of my discomfort with starting solids is the realization that my little infant is growing up. Eating table food is an important developmental step that moves my precious baby one step closer to toddler. Before I know it, that snuggly, cuddly cooing baby will be saying “NO” and “MINE”. The baby phase will be over in the blink of an eye.
If we’re still having challenges with food at 8 months I might need to rethink things but for now I’ll just take a deep breath and enjoy it! It goes by so fast.
I know I should be a good citizen and listen to the State of the Union address (I’m married to a history teacher who reminds me). Instead though, I think I’ll do a load of laundry and ponder my feelings on Miss Snuggabug. That sums up my feelings on politics these days. I do give kudos to Michelle Obama, however. Childhood obesity has at least stabilized and is declining among preschool aged kids!
I find myself increasingly annoyed at the little things lately. When I don’t take the time to re-center on Christ I find an underlying spirit of irritation and annoyance creeping in. Suddenly the little things start to break me. Just this evening Miss Snuggabug was being unusually cranky and I was frustrated that I couldn’t set her down to clean up after dinner. As I was grumbling to myself trying to throw in a load of towels without waking the baby in my arms I thought to myself “this is just an unlucky few days”. Then I sat down out of frustration and her peaceful face melted my anger. I sat down in front of the Christmas tree and God gave me a verse, “Oh give me back my journey again – you have broken me; now let me rejoice!” Psalm 51:8
Those things that were getting me down suddenly changed and I saw the positive side… the side to be joyful about.
I can’t put the baby down…. I get extra snuggles and the dishes have to wait
The dishes have to wait….. who cares?
Dad has prostate cancer…. they caught it so early that after removal dad will never have to worry about it again
My parents don’t want me there for the surgery…. God will take care of them better than I can
Little Bear had an accident…. my 2 1/2 year old is essentially potty trained
I have an extra long commute this week…. I’m blessed with a job I enjoy and childcare I trust
Miss Snuggabug has a cold… she doesn’t have a fever
As I began to think through each of these things my irritation, anger and general negativity changed to joy! We can’t always change our circumstances but we can change our attitude. Every coin has two sides and it’s the same with situations in life. Even the tough ones often have a silver lining.
And now… while I was getting this off my chest and catching extra snuggles by the tree, hubby did the dishes and put little Bear to bed. I am truly blessed
I’m tired I’m worn My heart is heavy From the work it takes to keep on breathing
… Let me see redemption win Let me know the struggle ends That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
(Lyrics “Worn” by Tenth Avenue)
It’s 9pm on a Thursday night, both kids are sleeping, coffee pot is set and lunches are made for tomorrow. What do you do? You sit down and realize how worn out you are. I’ve only been back at work for a few weeks but the combination of back-to-school colds, emotional adjustment to being away from the kiddos, tense work environment and 2 late nights for the hubby (volleyball banquet and grading tests)… not to mention current events… all make for one worn out mommy. It’s emotionally exhausting knowing that I only have about 20 hrs during the weekdays to spend with my kids. I spend twice as much time with my coworkers. I’m fortunate to have great coworkers… but still kinda depressing.
While I’m worn out, I have to think about the positives or opportunities in working. Less time means I need to make a more conscious effort in making the time count. A friend once used the phrase “redeem the hours” and that really stuck with me. During the time we’re together I don’t want to be sitting on my phone or just let Little Bear be idle in front of the tv (not sayin’ he doesn’t watch any tv… but just limit it). Both hubby and I need to make the conscious effort to read, play and just show the kids love. Yeah, some of the chores can wait until after bedtime. While I think it’s important that our kids see us working around the house, I don’t want that to be all they see. I don’t want mommy & daddy to be the ones who do dishes and laundry and mow and nothing else.
Another “positive” to being back at work, if you will, is that there is a natural cadence to the week… kinda like the seasons. By the end of winter everyone just can’t wait for spring flowers. By Friday, everybody can’t wait for the weekend. Being at home there honestly wasn’t that much difference from a Thursday to a Friday to a Saturday. The days just sort of all blurred together
It’s time for bed before I let my level of irritation (with the mess in the house) exceed my exhaustion. Once I reach a certain threshold of annoyance there’s no turning back until everything is done. Tonight I chose snuggles over chores and now my body needs sleep more than a neat house right now. TGIF!
I love the overnight oats and buckwheat with chia and I’ve been seeing tons of recipes on Pinterest for chia pudding, so I decided to venture out and try it. The results? Mediocre at best. Little Bear took two bites and was done, the hubby wouldn’t eat it and I found myself craving something sweet afterwards. Firstly, don’t even try it if you’re not a fan of tapoica or rice pudding. The texture is fairly similar in that it has the beady/ gelatinous texture from the chia. Personally I like tapoica pudding, but I wouldn’t exactly call it indulgent. Also, I found the strawberries were critical. Because chia can be kind of gelatinous, the texture variation of fruit helps break it up. I found myself just dying to put a big dollop of whipped cream on top – but then that would kinda contradict the whole idea of a healthy desert. At the end I tried pureeing it with an imersion blender, but that made it worse. It brings out the fishy flavor from the chia (from the Omega 3’s) and it leaves a little gritty texture.
What I did (in case you find yourself really wanting to try it)
1/4 c chia seeds
1 1/4 c almond milk (unsweetened)
1tsp vanilla
1 Tb cocoa powder
2 Tb sweetener (agave nectar or sugar)
Mix all ingredients together well and let sit for at least 8 hrs.
Overall it was a very mediocre day. I started off with a mommy-fail morning where Little Bear ended up commando at school from a potty accident (he’s working on the whole aim thing). Work was fine – I just didn’t pump enough milk for the bottles. Then, even though I left early I still got stuck in traffic. So after the very mediocre chocolate chia pudding I decided to cap off the day with a glass of milk and some cookies. Tomorrow is a new day and Friday.
foodiemama 